Improved Proposal

After receiving the feedback from our teacher, we decided to take out the cut-away shots of the killer walking to the house and concentrate mainly on the events that take place in the house and the characters reaction.

The opening scene starts inside the hallway of a house, with the camera facing the door. We hear footsteps approaching the door and a key turning in the lock. A young lady (around the age of 19) opens the door and walks into her house, hanging her keys up on the wall. As she begins to take her shoes and coats off and places her mobile which no longer has charge on the front table, she presses her answering machine to see if there has been any voice-mail messages.

The voice from the machine says "You have 4 new messages". She presses play and then heads towards the kitchen to get a drink from the fridge. Simultaneously, the first message is being played "Message received today at 3:03pm" - "Hi Darling, I'm just calling to remind you that I've booked a reservation at Il Forno, you remember that lovely little Italian Restaurant we saw ..." She cuts the message short.

"Message received today at 5:49pm" - "Jade, where are you ? I need to talk to you !" Jade looks at the answering machine with a confused expression. She plays the next message.

"Message received today at 5:55pm" - "(Mandy can be heard crying) Oh God Jade, they know. (more crying) they know it's us ! I don't know what to do now ...(more crying)". Jade drops her bottle, which shatters on the floor, and runs to the answering machine to play the message again, while it's only halfway through.

It repeats and then carries on; 'He said he knows and........wait. i heard something... someones here. (in a whispered voice) ... *silence*.

In this silence Jade hurries to her mobile, only to find its battery die while in her hands. All the while, the message continues and we hear the phone drop and then a sudden outburst of screaming which is then muffled by the killer's hand. We hear the killer pick up the phone and he says something similar to "Your next". The phone cuts. And the answering machine says "End of final message."

As the answer machine says this, the camera focuses on Jade's shocked expression. She places her hands over her mouth, and her eyes start to water. She glances at the clock and her breathing becomes heavy as she realise the killer must be on his way to find her.